by Emily Jasper on December 31, 2009

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?

Auld Lang Syne

You have to say goodbye to some things. You just have to.

When I was younger, there would be times where I couldn’t let go. You would think with each new location, I could forget about my baggage and move on. I didn’t. I would remember how I was treated by kids at such-and-such school, and then remember the troubles at City A. I would roll all the negativity up and let it grow inside me. I didn’t want to forgive and somehow, I couldn’t forget.

And then the world changed. I began to see and experience things I’d never imagine…grandparents living with and dying from cancer, alzheimer’s, and congestive heart failure (and all the complications in between); burying my best friend’s brother after a car accident; sitting in emergency room waiting rooms after suicide attempts of friends over the years; suffering with years of pain from my own car accident; experiencing emotional abuse from an alcoholic; seeing the “I’m alive” IM from my brother the day of the Virginia Tech Massacre; spending years feeling like I’m lost and alone.

Each year that something happened, something that would have dragged me down, I had to walk away. I had to let go. To carry all those things, and more, would only make me a vessel for grief and pain. I had to look forward.

Those moments I still remember, and I still learn from them. It’s as if they are in a box I pull out from time to time. And then I put it away.

Today, I am putting away the box for 2009. I am ready for all that this next year has to offer. I hope you are as well.

Thank you for spending time with me this year. I wish all the best to you and yours.

Happy New Year

Photo from clipart.