You have to say goodbye to some things. You just have to.
When I was younger, there would be times where I couldn’t let go. You would think with each new location, I could forget about my baggage and move on. I didn’t. I would remember how I was treated by kids at such-and-such school, and then remember the troubles at City A. I would roll all the negativity up and let it grow inside me. I didn’t want to forgive and somehow, I couldn’t forget.
And then the world changed. I began to see and experience things I’d never imagine…grandparents living with and dying from cancer, alzheimer’s, and congestive heart failure (and all the complications in between); burying my best friend’s brother after a car accident; sitting in emergency room waiting rooms after suicide attempts of friends over the years; suffering with years of pain from my own car accident; experiencing emotional abuse from an alcoholic; seeing the “I’m alive” IM from my brother the day of the Virginia Tech Massacre; spending years feeling like I’m lost and alone.
Each year that something happened, something that would have dragged me down, I had to walk away. I had to let go. To carry all those things, and more, would only make me a vessel for grief and pain. I had to look forward.
Those moments I still remember, and I still learn from them. It’s as if they are in a box I pull out from time to time. And then I put it away.
Today, I am putting away the box for 2009. I am ready for all that this next year has to offer. I hope you are as well.
Thank you for spending time with me this year. I wish all the best to you and yours.
Happy New Year
Photo from clipart.