Ellie Scarborough, founder of pinkkisses.com, may be an expert on mending a broken heart, but she also knows that keys to success are found in who you are as a person. I had the opportunity to gain insights from her, and here are her best tips:
bombshell: (n) a woman who is sensationally shocking, amazing, vibrant & delightfully daring
We’ve all been there. Stuck. Bored. Feeling like we’re meant for something greater, yet we just can’t seem to get out of our own way. We get comfortable with the status quo, we accept our careers for what they are (or are not) and set aside our passions. We let our brilliant dreams wander off into the distance and wonder why we hit the snooze button three times every morning.
That’s where I was two years ago, when I made a decision. I was going to change my life dramatically. I was going to wake up. I was going to take charge of my destiny. I was going to reclaim my spark.
I created what I like to call the bombshell code of conduct and I started living it. And guess what? Underneath my professional blazer beat the heart of a passionate woman indeed. Four simple rules changed my life:
1. eliminate all the “stuff” you’re doing just because you think you should
It’s not that my old life sucked. I was in TV news working as a lead nightside reporter for the NBC station in Houston, Texas. I had moved up quickly over the seven years I’d been in news, and had reached every single one of my professional goals. I was volunteering on the side, exploring my faith on and off and getting to spend quality time with my family more than once a year. But something was missing.
I wasn’t fulfilled and I wasn’t happy, yet I never would have admitted that at the time. It took a boy breaking my heart to put my whole life into perspective. And when he ended our relationship, I was devastated. I felt lost. I started asking all kinds of questions about who I was, who I wanted to be and what my true passions were.
Know what? The answers were surprising, shocking even. I discovered that, although I was talented at my job, it wasn’t actually my passion. I loved the idea of changing people’s lives and finding truth that journalism offered, but I was ready for a new challenge. And that realization got me to examine the rest of my reality even more deeply.
2. be honest with yourself … even when it’s tough
Once I realized I wasn’t being honest with myself about the big stuff, I started looking for other places I could find clarity. I discovered, for example, that I didn’t actually love red wine, even though all of my friends did. I discovered I did love dressing up, but felt restricted by wearing suits everyday. I discovered that I hadn’t actually asked myself all these questions in way too long.
If you’re looking for the bombshell trapped inside your blazer, make a list of the “smaller” stuff you’d ditch if given the chance. You’ll find that releasing each one will give you an instant shot of confidence, as you start living more boldly and less by other people’s rules.
3. treat people better, both the ones who already love you as well as complete strangers
In all my mid-career pondering, I came to a very clear conclusion: relationships are the most important thing in life.
It’s easy to get so wrapped up in our jobs and our routines. But what if you made a commitment to be a better friend/daughter/sister/co-worker in some small way each day? I was amazed at what a huge difference a random phone call or hand-written note could make in the life of someone I love. And, going that extra mile, even by simply smiling at strangers, can give you a huge emotional boost as well.
I hear from women all the time who feel like robots on the job. They want to get their mojo back, and to remember the happening woman within. Not all of us can transform our jobs into the careers of our dreams, or quit altogether, but we can start having more fun – and indulging our bombshell side – by making a commitment to thrilling one person each day.
4. shock the hell out of yourself (& everyone else) by doing what scares you
So, you’ve always wanted to try trapeze, but were just too scared of heights. Or, maybe you’re afraid to ask your boss for that much-deserved promotion because he might say no or hold it against you. Sound familiar?
I challenge each of you to find one thing that scares you and do it in the next 30 days. Big or small. You’ll discover that fear is just a silly emotion getting between us and our potential.
Follow these four rules for one week, or better yet one month, and I promise you will see change. How? By beginning to look at the world differently. You’ll remember that anything is possible, and you will become unstoppable. You’ll no longer be afraid of failure, but only of risking nothing. You’ll recognize that we can’t wait for change to happen to us, we have to create it within ourselves. And that is the definition of a bombshell: Shamelessly bold.
I believe that if we each tap into our bombshell potential – even when it’s buried deep within our blazers! – we can create a bombshell revolution. So create the change you’d like to see in your own life starting right this second, and do it with conviction.
Check out pinkkisses.com for more!
Photo credit Alaskan Dude.